Mike ‘n’ Mike: Cypress Grille doesn’t satisfy with average food

Mike Miller
One word can sum up my feelings about the Cypress Grille, located at 1803 N. Third St.: unimpressed.

When I first walked in the door, I had higher hopes.

One of the waitresses was kindly helping an old lady out to the car with her carryout food.

The girl called back, “Mother?” into the kitchen to ask about something.

Good start. Good family atmosphere.

The sage, pale yellow and ketchup red décor helped create that sort of countrified ambiance, as well: kitschy sure—plastic plants and all—but well-intentioned.

And I liked the sort of antique Coca-Cola cooler back behind the cash register.

Their meaty menu is chock full of Cajun- and Hoosier-themed dishes, as well as a signature “Cypress Burger” that, according to the menu, is “served with barbecue sauce on the—”

End of line. Hmm. Some copy editing would be nice.

But I’m being catty.

 I should be tearing down the food instead.

Along with my barbecued chicken breast, I got a mini-loaf of cornbread and two side orders: Cypress grilled veggies and sweet potato fries.

I was excited about the fries, but when they showed up at my table, they were limp, a sign that they hadn’t been properly dried out before cooking.

Maybe during the lunch rush they would have been better prepared.

But I don’t hold out much hope that the grilled veggies would be.

From what I could tell, a bag of Birds Eye assorted frozen vegetables was dumped out onto the grill and seared on both sides. The broccoli and carrot-slivers were mushy, yes; the snow peas were unforgivably bad.

Right, I know. This is a barbecue place. I should ignore the distractions and get to the meat of the matter.

But the truth is, I was equally unimpressed with the chicken. It seemed like someone just tossed it on the “frying pan like spam,” to quote Cypress Hill, an early 90s hip hop outfit.

Even to a fat boy on a diet, nothing stood out.

The chicken was moist—I’ll give it that—but the barbecue sauce wasn’t too impressive.

It just seemed to have been squirted out of a bottle right before the plate made it to my table—no caramelization or anything.

I’m no chef.  I can make maybe four dishes, and one of those is hummus.

And while that might show that this restaurant isn’t aimed at me, I got the distinct impression that I could have done just as good of a job making the food on my own.

Mike Miller is an English graduate student and a former high school teacher.

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Mike Lushbaugh

As a future teacher going through student teaching, I am learning the fine art of grading.

Some students deserve better grades because they work hard. Others deserve good grades because they’re able to grasp things quicker than others.

Then there are those students who could get better grades if they just applied themselves.

In the restaurant world, the Cypress Grille is one such student.

The Cypress Grille is, ostensibly, a local sandwich/barbecue/home cooking restaurant.

It serves a number of different items on the menu such as the barbecued or fried tenderloin, ribs, burgers and some salads.

The prices themselves are fairly average.

That’s probably the best word for this place: the food was average, the service was average and, in general, the entire experience was average.

Perhaps it was our fault.

I imagine this place serves a good lunch crowd; I have to believe that when we arrived an hour before closing time they were off their A-game.

For the meal, I ordered the half rack of ribs, french fries, and baked beans. The ribs also came with a side of corn bread.

The ribs themselves were standard restaurant fare. The sauce was thick, spicy and sweet.

The french fries were pretty standard as well. The baked beans were good, but again, I feel that they could have done a better job.

In short, this restaurant under-promises and under-delivers.

In many ways, I want this restaurant to succeed. If nothing else, this town needs more local restaurants.

I understand that this is a small operation, and they are just starting out.

Recently, this building was a deli of some kind, and before that, it was some other kind of restaurant, so if nothing else, precedent is not on their side.

For a dinner for two people, it cost around $25, and given the quality and quantity of food, this is a good price.

On the other hand, I could have spent my money at a restaurant like M. Moggers Restaurant and Pub, spent nearly the same amount and not gone home feeling as if the establishment hadn’t simply tried their best.

If you’re fine with average food at average prices, then this is the place for you.

Expect nothing great, and you won’t be disappointed.

Keep in mind, however, that there are plenty of other closer places that I feel you could get better value for your money.

I hope, in time, service and food quality will improve.

Mike Lushbaugh is an education graduate student and is currently in the Transition to Teaching program.