Break the [co]habit

Commitment is becoming somewhat of a curse word these days.

Everywhere our generation turns, we are met with opportunities and messages promoting the opposite of commitment. It seems our culture is terrified to make a choice that doesn't have an escape plan.

Do you remember how difficult it used to be to watch television? Before DVR you risked making it home in time to watch your favorite show only to find that it was a rerun.

Now you can record shows to watch them whenever you want. Before you even begin to watch a show, you can read a paragraph summing up the plot of the show. Heaven forbid we should invest 30 minutes of our lives (22 if you skip commercials) in something we don't really want to watch.

DVR isn't sending our society to hell in a hand basket, but our fear to commit is causing serious problems.

Cohabitation—that's what they're calling it these days—when two people in a relationship move in together, happens 14 times more often now than it did in 1970.

I may seem old fashioned with my antique plan of proposing to someone, marrying them, and then moving in with them, like "Leave it to Beaver," but there's a reason society has done that for thousands of years.

I know, some people are reading this and thinking I'm inhibiting the future and stepping on people's toes, but the fact is when commitment-phobia turns into cohabitation, it causes society to bleed.

What's the big deal with cohabitation? It may seem harmless at first when two people decide that although they don't want to even consider the M-word, moving in isn't too scary, as long as there aren't any strings attached. But if a child comes into the picture, problems for couples turn into generational problems.

Ralph Banks, professor at Stanford Law School, says that "children benefit—"economically, psychologically, socially—from being raised by two parents who live together in a stable relationship. These sorts of relationships, in the United States at least, are almost always marriages."

When you really think about it, you don't need a lawyer to tell you the obvious—it's not good for little Johnny when he sees his dad walk into the door, only to hear his father say "Hey Sport! No, sorry—can't play catch today. I only came by to borrow mommy's waffle iron. See ya next week! Or maybe the week after!"

Five years later, the school counselor will be asking Johnny why he threw his tray at the lunch lady when she asked him if he wanted a waffle. Kids can't be supported financially and emotionally when their parents act like being around isn't important.

To be fair, sometimes people do live together without getting married for long periods of time. But as Banks points out, that's the exception, not the rule. The New York times has a string of stories on this topic, debating whether or not cohabitation really is a major nuisance of society.

The fact that the New York Times, one of the most popular liberal publications, would publish multiple articles praising marriage and traditionally conservative ideals sheds light on how important commitment is to society.

I know marriage isn't easy, and it's never a good idea to go into it without being prepared or just because it sounds fun, like that idiot move pulled by Kim Kardashian. But we can't let our fear of commitment trickle down to our children because they can't walk away.