Chatty Cathies cross boundaries

In previous articles, "Polite Society" has focused on the individual: how one dresses, speaks and walks. However, this week the main goal will be to achieve more polite social boundaries such as the longevity of conversation.

Often, people do not adhere to or even recognize boundaries.However, those who do are looked upon as genteel and respectful.

The length of any conversation has a least two perspectives: Speaker A, let's call him Johnny, and that of Speaker B, Hal.

For example, Johnny leaves his dorm room in the hopes of chowing down on a very nutritious Whopper from his beloved Burger King. All the while, an acquaintance, Hal is enjoying a brisk fall walk in the shade of the sycamores. On the paths of a small campus, the two bump into one another.

Now, Johnny's perspective plays a little something like this: "Oh no, not this guy again! He once talked to me for a half hour about the cycles of iguana reproduction. Maybe I can avoid him."

This simultaneously occurs with Hal's perspective, which sounds a bit different. "Hey," he thinks, "there's that sweet dude from my biology class that loved my views on iguanas!"

Johnny exchanges a few words before Hal endulges himself with a fully endowed description of his strange colored mucus that afternoon, stating a possibility of a cold, sore throat or mono, all the while hacking loogies uncomfortably close to Johnny's face.

Whenever he can get a word in, Johnny mentions he is meeting a friend in the Commons. He continuously glances at his watch. He taps his foot and looks about the sky in grave disinterest. All these social cues are obviously meant to portray Johnny in a state of needing and wishing to leave.

But Hal is just not getting the picture. He throws around a hypothesis that his promiscuous roommate probably gave him mono. Then again, he added, the issue might be his seasonal allergies; Oh and that reminded him, he needed to get facial tissues!

After an entire hour of interjected reasons for leaving and one terribly awkward goodbye with a guilty exchange of phone numbers, Johnny is finally free to embark on the burger journey.

See the boundaries broken here? While Johnny has the expectation of a short and sweet conversation, Hal views the opportunity as much more personal. The lesson learned from this situation is to look out for social cues.

When someone states they "need to leave" or they are "in a hurry," take it for gold and be on your way.

A tapping foot and wandering eyes means you might want to find new friends. Bottom line, search for these boundaries within social situations and begin to create a more polite society.