‘Twilight’ makes for best accidental comedy

I used to really like vampires.  Vampires were creepy, mysterious and usually just badass. When the first "Twilight" novel came out I thought, "I'll give this a go."

Four books and three movies later, I'm a bit repulsed.  I will admit that I have read all the books, and I have watched all the previous movies.  In all likelihood, I'll watch the final installment, although my reasons have nothing to do with enjoying these movies.

"Twilight," as a book, isn't completely terrible.  It can pass as a decent romance at times, if you don't actually contemplate why these two people are together in the first place.  If you do choose to ponder that question, you'll come up with nothing, and the last thread holding your fragile sanity together will snap.

If you look at it from a supernatural standpoint, however, it's a big piece of crap.  Authors sometimes tweak urban legends or myths.  There have been many instances where this had been a great thing.  Anne Rice, Amelia Atwater Rhodes and Darren Shan have all done it wonderfully.  They have changed the attributes of the vampire just enough to improve it and make their take on vampires unique.  

When you throw away almost everything that makes a vampire a vampire, though, you get puny, pale, sparkly people who can only strike fear into the hearts of sheep.  They're basically models who drink blood and occasionally growl at people.  Not to mention the fact that the werewolves in this series aren't even real werewolves; they're shape shifters.

It was a decent love story, so I was ready to see the first movie that was sure to be a blockbuster. 

It was a decent adaptation as far as adaptations go, but Kristen Stewart's acting was atrocious. 

Her style of acting is to stare around blankly, mess with her hair and occasionally stutter out some lines.  It's actually painful to watch, which brings me back to my first point, that I will be watching the last installment of this series.  

I compare the "Twilight" movies to a car wreck.   It's this terrible, awful tragedy, but you just can't look away.  Part of the reason I want to watch the last adaptation is to see how badly it will turn out.  I've watched the trailer and it looks to have the same terrible acting and hordes of shirtless boys.  They do make Bella look pretty terrible when she becomes pregnant, but you can do a lot with makeup.

Paying at least $10 to see this film is a bit absurd, especially if you're not a fan.  

I do encourage you to at least rent the movies, invite a bunch of friends over and have a good laugh.  You can treat it like those terrible science fiction movies.  

They're so terrible that they're almost good.